The Truth About Dating Single Parents: A Single Mother’s Perspective
There are several reasons why single parents are single; dating is one of the many factors that makes this lifestyle a little more difficult. First of all, our children come first, or they should, for everything, including our own needs. We make all kinds of sacrifices to make certain the kids have everything they need, and often more, out of a need to over compensate for the missing parent. We go without certain luxuries to make sure our kids never have to go without anything. I would rather my kids have cool kicks instead of me getting a new iPhone. To me, it’s more important that they look cool than me looking cool, so these sacrifices are well worth it.
We know the importance of strong male and female role models, so we keep friends of both sexes close at hand to offer positive influences. This tends to pose a problem while dating as new-to-the-situation people do not see the importance of keeping these vital men and women in our lives. It is acceptable to voice your concerns with our friendships, but outright jealousy over something that simply isn’t there will result in a break up. For the record, if any of the friends were dating material then they wouldn’t be just friends and we wouldn’t be on the dating scene. If you choose to date a single mother, accept that she has males in her life she has chosen as role models for her children and don’t try to make her choose between you and them. You will lose that game. The same can be said of single fathers.
Many of us have control issues. We have built this life for us and our children and worked really hard to make it comfortable. For those who have been single parents a long time (18 years for me) it is difficult to relinquish control in many instances. We have our routines, we have our special way of doing things, and it will take time for us to adjust to someone new in our lives. If you are dating a single parent with control issues, have patience; if you make it worth the effort we will let up on the reins a little at a time.
Letting some one into our lives can be difficult for many of us. I tend to be highly protective, like a mother wolf watching over my pups, and don’t want to bring someone into our lives who is just going to get spooked or jealous or angry and make our lives difficult. If we chose you, then it is to add to our already happy little world, not bring chaos and misery. If it seems like we are picky or have too high standards, it’s because we do. Those are traits to be admired in a parent, not admonished. It’s good to date single parents; we have the best snacks and know the coolest places to hang out!